Actions is louder then words

 

This few days I'm going crazy..

Safety ain't an easy subject at all..

worries for me, I don't understand the topic..

Instructor Mr. Ahmad he really is pro while he speaks English

First person speak so fluently, but one thing is he explain too fast...

and my brain goes...."what? What did you say?"

Aiks...

I need to brush up soon as possible!

One more thing I worry about,

wondering why senior is like not responding my comments on Facebook

and Messages in Line or Talkbox.

Did I do something wrong?

Did I bother him too much?

Or he knows how I feel about him??

I don't know, my questions cannot be answered...

Where are you? Why aren't you replying me?

Please don't avoid me =(

Screw up

 

I just had an accident.

Of all days. Why must today? Why now?

I was on my way driving to the LRT Station with my mom,

I have class.

While I was driving in the beginning,

everything went smoothly like the usual,

Suddenly there is a car in front of me stop all of the sudden

because of a traffic light then I also stopped with 40km miles per hour

then a motorcyclist bang behind me and got injured...

His nose bridge had a slide injury keep bleeding

I got panic and don't no what to do

I felt bad...lucky my mom beside me all else I gone insane.

It was awful...I'm felt terrible...i didn't know what happened.

Why things happened to me so fast...

I drove about 2 months then car accident happened to me today.

I'm so worried, I'm felt sorry and guilty for what happened today 

=(

Emiko

The TRUTH

I don't want to post this but I really can't resist it.

I gonna tell the TRUTH

(To the bitches that is so call "friend", read carefully!)

I really pissed off when I found out,

I've gone easy on you, I've control my patience

 But no more!

Bloggers/Readers,

Let me ask you guys a question

have you known a friend since secondary, actually pretend to support you

treat you nicely and talk nice in front of you?

 And after that they talk bad things behind your back without knowing?

I already know you're such a fake, but still I go easy on you

and your minion is such a b*tch as well.

My God, how stupid I am to even be friends with both you for all this years

I'm glad God opened up my eyes!

With a friendship that is a fake

This is call "friends"! 

What have I done to offend you? Tell me?

Firstly I'm a person that had a bad primary/secondary school life memory that I don't want to recall

The fight, accused, judgement, especially the LIES

For 9years I suffer from the pain, frankly I don't blame my past

it actually made me a better person, teaches me to be strong for the future.

  But I thought you guys are different, the first moment that we're in the same class during form 4

I remembered we had our ups and downs, and we settle it together.

We work hard on our projects that teacher gave, we had lots of teamwork

This is not the 1st time you guys hurt me,

the 1st time I forgave you guys and just forget it

2nd time I still believe that you guys had reason behind, 

yet I still believed and trust you guys

3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th,7th................(uncountable)

You guys meant everything to me 

I put my dignity, trust and effort to make this friendship worked

and yet you guys still hurt me. Except for Michelle.

 I understand you because you need to protect your partner from getting hurt, 

I don't blame you, I don't hate you at all.

But those two b*tches I can't accept!

both of you, like to tease people, and make fun of people

talk bad things behind people's back.

This kind of friend I rather not have.

   C'- You're a person with big boobs, chubby body, from head to toe. 

You like to express yourself as the "perfect girl in the world".

Because you keep bla..bla..bla on a lot of boys chasing you.

You also tease other people's imperfections and compare about it

(I used to don't care about it, because you're a friend, but now. Sorry I can't take it anymore)

Yes, you have the boobs, you also tease me by saying I have "none".

You even address me as "Tiang" by saying I'm thin as a "Tiang" with no body   

I'm fine with that, but have you ever heard of a quote?

"NOBODY IS PERFECT IN THIS WORLD!"

 If you didn't please refer to Google =)

For W- Well for me you're almost the same as C.

But you way worst then her, skipping school, talk bad about people as well

including C. But C doesn't know about it.

One word for you, GROW UP!

You say you hate name that got E...let me tell you

The Letter "E. Do you know what word that express the letter "E?

E- Elegant, Energetic, Especially, Expression..

I love my name, no matter how much you tease about it

I'm still me. So F**K OFF will you? =) *PEACE

Do you know there is another reason that I don't studied the same college as you?

Because I don't wanna see your faces,

 I don't wanna hear you blaming and blabbing about me include other people.

I've already acknowledged you being a backstabber.

I known for so long, but I just kept my month shut for the sake of your image.

The moment we graduate from secondary school 

I have made my decision to studied in a different college.

Thanks to a friend from Facebook introduce me to Segi College

And another thing Facebook. 

Do you know why I didn't approve your friend requests? 

Or even block you guys? Because I rather have space for the people who appreciates me 

and truly be friends with me without a doubt.

I don't need friends that reminds me about my past.

I don't care if you say I'm a coward or what so ever

For now I just want to start my new life in college,

Live peacefully leave the past behind.

If you dislike me, or you hate me please click the [X] button

thanks a lot.

Lots love,

Emiko

When problem comes

I been stressful this days,

About my driving tests, my college life, most of all my dad

I have the feeling I can handle with passing my driving license,

just needs lots of practice, and lots of guts to drive smoothly

Just wish me luck!

My college life in Segi college is about to start,

I'm nervous about it, cause nobody I know there, expect my senior.

Man, have to be cool with new life here.

My dad giving me pressure,

complains about my results and my choice of college I'm going

He thinks that people goes to Tar College are excellent student?

I can't get in and he gives me this look,

 and keep comparing me and my friends that went to Tar. 

I mean come on, Tar College is just a college in Malaysia,

Not really famous also, I couldn't believe he use my friends that studied Tar 

and compare with other people that didn't got in. AKA me.

Means college like Taylor's, Nilai, Sunway College is nothing is it?

F**K

What's that suppose to mean,

I realize my dad doesn't accept me for the way I am,

I'm not good enough to praise in front of his friends

I'm not smart enough for him that made him disappointed 

I'm nothing for him to talk about to my relatives

This is me, 

If you can't accept the way I am,

Sorry dad, I don't give a damn about it

If I make you embarrass in front of your coworkers, 

your friends, or your brothers and sisters.

Forgive me, and please don't mention you got a daughter like me.

Is not that I wanted to hate you,

is the words you've said to me, make me depress and feel bad about myself

please treat me as a invisible daughter.

I don't blame you. 

Lucky I have my mom and my brother that supports me,

and accepts me for the way I am.

Thanks to my aunt that be there for me when I needed her,

每当困难宽饶我，

我会想着你，听着之前录过你的声音

当作安慰自己的鼓励，谢谢你 ♥

 Emiko    

Save my happy moments

It's been a long time that I last updated my blog

been busy and all

actually nothing much to write

 cause lately its been a moody month for me

Let's talk about my birthday

 ❤ 15 February 2011❤



I got a date with my dear aunt May,

teehee, excited.

So long didn't go shopping with her

I'm glad my aunt had a free time for me

especially my birthday ^^

we went to Time Square for lunch

I told you guys before,

I watch what I eat and aviod eating sweet and oily food

But since is my birthday

I give my body a break and just eat what I want =p

We went to a small restaurant call "Sweet talk"

We ordered a Pizza and desert

fattening but yummy right? xD

After that we went shopping for clothes

did I mentioned that I seldom wear skirts and dresses?

but this year I would want to change my image

Aunt had good taste with clothes

she brought me 2 dresses

one pink one beige

I really thankful to had time shopping with her,

I would want to hangout with her again sometime.

Miss her dearly right now,

I miss her hugs and kisses

Dear aunt I really having a good time,

hope we can hangout again =)

I'm having working problems lately

can't really describe it.

But I want to thank someone

 who worried and care for me when I'm down

小娴，谢谢你

当我躲在某个角落哭

只有你知道在哪里找我

鼓励我，

帮我解围当我困难的时候

总之，我真的很感谢你

我的搞笑朋友❤

I'm stress out

Money

Who doesn't want money?

How much money can I affort?

I don't no..

I really stress out...

Stress out in tears.

I always think buying something that I wanted

Just go ahead and buy without thinking

But now,

when i think I going to buy something that is over RM1K

I blured out.

I kept thinking

Why RM1K such a small digit for me

BUT, with so many bank notes to pay

Im going to turn 9teen and yet,

now having money problem...=(

I promised my parents that I would give them money

when I work and get my salary

Till now, 

I still haven't done what I said.

I like to think big that I can buy anything,

but now, I can't even effort to pay.

My mind is so blank

I don't no how to overcome this pressure

THE STRESS is so hard to handle 

You'll always be

*♥*27/1/2010*♥*

Today my dear Aunt May came to visit me,

since we didn't see each other for so long

I thought I can motified myself see does my aunt till recognize me

"Dear Aunt do you know I get my hair done,

and look the best to see you?" =)

Ever since my uncle & my aunt seperated.

I didn't see her for so long,

 texting each other

but we lost contact once due to my phone got stolen

Is so nice of her to drop by to see me

*touching*

My dear aunt you changed a lot

you look fabulous,

you look more and more fair then ever.

I really wish we can spend more time together

Cause I really do missed you and worried about you 

No matter what happens,

good or bad

You're always be my one and only Aunty May

Nobody can replace you in my heart.

Keep in touch ok? I love you~

I gonna work hard,

earn more income to buy my new phone

Using my hard earn money

RM2100...

Galaxy S wait for me ok? ♥

*♥*Second*♥*

This picture is for my 1st love,

I wanted to tell you that I'm offically letting you go,

It been so long till I make this decision,

I been so mess up..

Due to my feelings towards you,

when I tell you I love you,

I really meant what I say,

even though you don't care.

I been loving you for 470days

Waiting for you for 136days

Missing you for 136days

I proof to you, to myself

that what we have is limited yet special,

sadness, pain, happiness and love

I don't regret.

I don't regret falling in love with you.

Lucas Lee Em Hao,

I love you.  

This is really goodbye,

I have put away our pictures, our memories in a box

I'm not going to throw away the memories

But keep it aside.

I'm sorry for giving you trouble,

I'm sorry for giving you hard time,

I'll always keep you in mind,

I'll never forget you, BUT, I meant what I said.

You're Offically Free,

I'm letting you go...

Be happy with your gal.

I really envy her,

 sometimes I even think I'm not good enough for you

as for her,

I think you guys will be full with happiness

My dear friends please

don't curse him, don't blame him,

because love is foolish.

I'll be more happier,

I'll be more stronger,

I'll be more prettier xD (Kidding)

Thanks for the memories I won't forget it.

                              -Emiko

✲Gentle pain

(+...Before I'm sick and away...+)

Sitting on my bed,

using my sister's laptop

as she came to visit me for a few days in grandma house

because I'll be staying with her till I'm well again

Recently (7.10.2010)

My grandma had been taking care of me

because I'm having gastric pain

My grandma said my face is as pale as a 'ghost'

 with dark circles like a panda, thin like a stick? 0.0...

Maybe I'm sick that's why she call me a stick,

 and I admit my dark circles are puffy as ever, cry to much at night T-T

11.10.2010

Amitted to the hospital, gastric pain had gotten worst.

 Grandma and my sister quickly send me to the hospital,

doctor said I got Gastroenteritis ( chinese know as 肠胃炎)

Low blood pressure (didn't know I got till I check by the doctor.==)

and not gain enough of sleep/rest.

 Need to stayed in the hospital for 4 days for futher pain and check up.

At first I wanted to go home,

but grandma said is best if I stay in the hospital

she's afraid the pain would attack me again.

I have stop collage for a while too

my grandma told me to stop and continue next semester.

Every night in the hospital, I felt scared

with no one around beside me

just a phone & my sister laptop acompany me 

Thanks to her and jie fu

makes me feel safe when I scared

So many things happened at once

Friends betrayed, lied, USED me

(how am I suppose to trust someone again?)

My love had left me for someone else

is been painful and it hurts me

even though I miss him

I still can't stop my tears from falling.

I can't seem to let go as well.

For now,

I just want to yeast my pain

relief my sickness

I don't want my grandma keep on worrying

 my sister and jie fu finding free time taking care of me

I can bear the pain of betrayed and left alone

BUT, I can't make them worried.

I won't be online or sign in FB & msn

as my laptop is at home

and my sister seldom came by to visit me

Grandma don't allow me to surf the net

I just can update plurk status with my phone

Peace to everyone~

Special Thanks to QV jie,

 Chery sms's I'm glad.

=]

Sry let you guys worry. =]

♥ Hope I get well soon

After that day of misery

I really cried a lot and make myself exhausted.

When to class.

My friends keep asking me

"Emiko, what's wrong with you? Your eyes are red and bengkak"

"Are you ok? I see like you going to pengsan"

"What happened? Something bothering you?"

I keep holding my tears to fall..

But I fail. I just keep crying and crying.

And my friends do their best to clam me with hugs and advice

and I end up cried to I fall asleep for nearly 5 hours

><

I really tired...

till I feel like the world is like the end

Sometimes when I walk also need my friend accompany me

Cause I fell down the stairs without seeing.

Can't even feel the pain...

My friends wouldn't even let me walk home

They insisted to drive me home instate

But I didn't wanna to go home

So I stay with Christin's house

And Christin called my mom to not worry

because we have to discuss our projects 

so need to stay with her for a few days

What a great lie..= =

But I feel guilty about it

I didn't went to class for 3 days

Have a headache and felt dizzy

Thanks Christin, Michelle and Wendy 

for taking care of me. Especially Christin

Sorry give you problems during the night 

when I had bad dreams and scream in tears 

But I can't tell you guys my problems

cause if I tell I would cry...

I don't want you guys to worry

And you guys will complain and say the things I don't want to hear

So best to keep in silents.

And I wanna thank JianLin for chating with me

during the night it self.

"Thanks Babee Panda~"

And QV jie.

thanks for the worries, I will tell you about it

whenever I can. I just need time to absorb and heal myself

Hope jie won't mind =)  

That's all I share for today

Peace through out the day***

♥ Thinking too much

x

Just because of one sentence 

came right through your mouth

You make me feel like a useless person

a person who is not needed

a person who can't count on

Why are you making me feel bad about myself?

Why?

Have I suffer enough?

I already have patient with you

I already try to be clam 

BUT I can't do it anymore

I just can't stand it any longer

I didn't ate anything this morning...

learn to fast like the Muslims I think?

don't even have the appetite to eat 

Keep thinking here and there

I done so much things

try to help my friends from sadness with advices

But why I can't help myself?

Why unhappy things happened to me?

What I do to deserve this?

Have I done wrong?

Have I've been selfish?

I keep on trying to forget the things you said to me this morning

It seems that it's harder than I thought it would be

I'm hurt.

I don't no what to do...

I want to bet a chance

A chance that would lead me to an answer..

Can I get my answer if I ask?

Will you answer?

It's really important to me.

Hope for the Best

Sometimes I think of disappearing

hide somewhere that nobody knows me

I guess hiding is not a solution

Why I feel hatred?

Wanna ask you guys, 

am I such a troublesome girl?

Do I make you guys annoyed?

Why I feel like all the people around me

like to pretend? Saying that they care but they didn't

 I hate people say things and just forget about it

I didn't say I am pretty nor perfect

I just want to love myself

accept myself for who I am.

You think you're prettier than me

then how pretty you are?

Tell me? I want to know ^-^

When I hangout with you and a few friends,

it makes us uncomfortable

you keep hugging here and there with your BF. That's fine.

 But please don't 撒娇 in front of us when we eat la.

I know you're happy. No need to keep praising your bf

say how lucky you are...and blar blar blar

Not just that

You even criticize me having small breast

and say no boys chase me because I don't have the body

I know you have big breast la

You got the body. 

But you keep hurting my feelings

saying all the negative things that I don't want to hear

I'm just a normal girl.

I don't have the body, I'm ain't pretty.

I just average.

And on top of that I don't need you to introduce guys to me

I don't need your pity

Even you introduce, you surely intro your bf's friends

Those smoking & saying bad words type of guy

Sorry. I'm not interested. 

I already have someone in my heart that's enough for me

I don't need others, I just need him. Only Him.

I respect him for who he is.

Even though your bf better than him.

I don't care. As long as is him

I don't mind at all.

Not everyone are the same

Not everyone is perfect.

I just hope for the best

and be the best I am

It's the way I am

Sometimes I wonder,

why people like to crush another people's 

hopes and dreams

What you have that people don't have

Consider you lucky.

But it doesn't mean you have the right

to spoil people's desire

Few days ago

my sister Qv & Chery

having problems with their life.

I try my best to help them 

I learn that most people

are selfish enough to judge people for their

looks, the way they dress, the way they see others

Beauty is just an image to pleased people

doesn't mean their perfect in every way

And another thing

Do not judge Fat people

they are special in their own ways

I dislike judging 

because I was an obsessed myself

65kg at the age of 12

For 4 years,

I motivate myself to exercise

and gone to gym, stop eating fast food, gas drinks

after that the portion that I ate begin to get little by little

I strongly admit 

 I wanted to be slim & pretty myself as well.

But, be pretty in my own way, my own style

Please stop judging people if you don't know them

Nobody is perfect in this world

Special thanks to Wardy

You help me when I was having trouble in my life

You gave me advice and you save me from the dark.

You teach me not to trust people fully, you opened up my eyes

Thanks Wardy =)

   

_____________________________________________

To one of my friend

Sometimes I can't tell you things

if I tell you, you sure will say

"Why you love him? His a nobody"

"This type of person can throw in the dustbin"

"Go find a guy more handsome than him la, other guys better"

"Anyhow my bf is way better than him"

I don't mind his looks

I don't mind what kind of person he is

I don't mind his a nobody to you, 

BUT he is a SOMEBODY to me

You can't change my feelings for him

it is not for you to decide, 

IT'S MY DECISIONS TO MAKE, NOT YOURS. 

I don't like people judging him,

 compare him with other people

you don't know him the way I do.

When you having trouble with your relationship

who is there for you?

who give you advice?

Have you ever thing of that?

After troubles are over,

you just forget about it
 and
 continue enjoying being happy with your life

I don't mind that
But, you keep criticize the one I love
I'm not fine with that.

you have your ways of loving someone

and I have mine.

People have different personalities

We are not the same.

Somethings we have in commend

but is doesn't mean we are the same.

I won't let this small matter make me sad

and keep thinking negatively 

I will always think positive,

even though in the end I fail,

it makes me learn my mistakes

and make it better in future.

Don't cry because is over, 

Smile because it happened.