✈Off to Ipoh

(USING MY SIS LAPTOP)...


Off to Ipoh the next morning...

Going to visit grandma and grandpa friends and relatives

Might be gone for 4 days...

Saiyonara...

Music can be listen

Music can be clam like the ocean

Music does wonders towards mankind...

FOR ME?

Music makes me think of you....

ONLY OUR MEMORIES...

 THAT CANNOT BE BROKEN

ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED~

-Emiko...sign out

内心·心情

最近的我

身体不好，脸色苍白

从照片你们都看的出

这是我发烧的第三天

因为打针的关系

难得姐跟姐夫有空

带我，外婆和外公吃饭

我们吃比较“淡”的东西

因为我生病的关系

你们知道吗？

我竟然会瘦到48Kg

生病也可以减肥

可是病好了就肥回吧？

其实我心情不好

我不知道怎么解释

连医生问我

有什么东西给我压力

不断的

差点掉眼泪

可是我“忍”

照着说：“没什么，很累罢了”

今天姐夫和姐陪我散散心

我已经很开心了

（暂时的开心）

吃完中饭

就去Shopping

姐夫竟然买保养品给我？？！！

他说我的脸色很苍白

皮肤也没保养

就买这个给我

没想到不爱花钱的姐夫

竟然买Hada Labo Cleanser set给我

姐夫，谢谢你

每次给你麻烦不好意思

当我伤心你会安慰我

像哥哥一样

有你这个家人

我很开心

姐真幸福

真的很幸福有你

还有我要感谢外婆照顾我

婆婆，谢谢你

生病也要你照顾

不好起来也不行 =)

这个世界

就是多谎言，自私，卑鄙的人

我恨那些装可爱，装可怜，发桥的女生

越来越恨

你们只是表面上的美

一卸妆就变回普通的女生

化妆对我来说像魔法一样

可以变美的一瞬间

可是魔法没了，就会变回普通的人

最近的我很少化妆的习惯

以前的我总是说化妆，

就可以改变一切

可是现在想一想自己有多愚蠢

我不爱打扮

也不怎么喜欢化妆了

比较喜欢保养皮肤

因为真正的美

不是靠化妆脸就解决了

是看自己有自信和魅力

我就是丑

我不漂亮

可是我不在乎

因为这就是命运

这是事实

不能改变的

I'm not pretty nor beautiful.

But I beautiful on the inside

Pretty is only temporal,

 But beauty will never fade

You only can see it within

Beauty， can't be measured.

I love you too much

because you're important.

                                                -Emiko sign out.

✁Haircut

After my sis and future brother in law

fetch me home from the hospital

Jie fu say I need a new look

after being in "prison"(hospital) for 4days

 is time for me to have a new look 

I did not had a haircut for about 8 months

cause I trying hard to grow as long as I can.

But since haircut can change a sick face

I listen to them and went to Emo+hairstudio

I had cut my hair
I cut because I want to get rid of my sick face
hairstylish name Ah Chun cut my hair
he is also my brother's hairstylist 

can New Look Emiko survive?

Let's just see~

Bye !

I missed you♥

-LEBear1016

✲Gentle pain

(+...Before I'm sick and away...+)

Sitting on my bed,

using my sister's laptop

as she came to visit me for a few days in grandma house

because I'll be staying with her till I'm well again

Recently (7.10.2010)

My grandma had been taking care of me

because I'm having gastric pain

My grandma said my face is as pale as a 'ghost'

 with dark circles like a panda, thin like a stick? 0.0...

Maybe I'm sick that's why she call me a stick,

 and I admit my dark circles are puffy as ever, cry to much at night T-T

11.10.2010

Amitted to the hospital, gastric pain had gotten worst.

 Grandma and my sister quickly send me to the hospital,

doctor said I got Gastroenteritis ( chinese know as 肠胃炎)

Low blood pressure (didn't know I got till I check by the doctor.==)

and not gain enough of sleep/rest.

 Need to stayed in the hospital for 4 days for futher pain and check up.

At first I wanted to go home,

but grandma said is best if I stay in the hospital

she's afraid the pain would attack me again.

I have stop collage for a while too

my grandma told me to stop and continue next semester.

Every night in the hospital, I felt scared

with no one around beside me

just a phone & my sister laptop acompany me 

Thanks to her and jie fu

makes me feel safe when I scared

So many things happened at once

Friends betrayed, lied, USED me

(how am I suppose to trust someone again?)

My love had left me for someone else

is been painful and it hurts me

even though I miss him

I still can't stop my tears from falling.

I can't seem to let go as well.

For now,

I just want to yeast my pain

relief my sickness

I don't want my grandma keep on worrying

 my sister and jie fu finding free time taking care of me

I can bear the pain of betrayed and left alone

BUT, I can't make them worried.

I won't be online or sign in FB & msn

as my laptop is at home

and my sister seldom came by to visit me

Grandma don't allow me to surf the net

I just can update plurk status with my phone

Peace to everyone~

Special Thanks to QV jie,

 Chery sms's I'm glad.

=]

Sry let you guys worry. =]

✈飞吧 Last Post for a moment~

我

想消失一阵子

因为

我受不了

那种痛

真的快受不了

对不起

我还是没办法坚强起来

我以为我可以

可是

我不能

真的不能

对不起

对不起

对不起

原谅我的自私
我不是不听话

而是脆弱的我
无法控制自己的情绪


我的心；
很累
很痛
很挣扎

让我休息吧
暂时在黑暗里
休息吧

反正
我也习惯
在黑暗的世界
寂寞的世界
悲伤的世界

冷冷的
暗暗的地方
我.....会习惯的

如果有一天我真的消失了
也许"他们"会开心
不是认输
而是我很讨厌自己

我觉得
我只是个多于的人
路人，外人
火星人

一个人
没什么了不起
不是骄傲
是想挑战自己

伤害也好；
逞强也好；
伪装也好；

心理满意就好了
不是吗？

✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈✈




安静下吧~

                 祝大家开心                

❤ Random

Just few like update something

not much to write about...

just...

Random Post.

I don't wanna talk a lot

cause, I don't no where to start~

maybe might not want to share...

Angry+Emotional+Sadness

= NO MOOD

Yesterday,

played badminton with my bro

so long didn't play 

a bit rusty

But I manage to play well

smash here and there

to release tension, frustration, anger

pretty much everything.

My bro surprise and got scared the way I play

Sorry bro =)

Because so much things had happened

and I really don't no what to write about.

I want to give a big thanks to QV jie

 for being there for me

when I needed someone to talk to

“姐，谢谢你~”

And also

 Chery and Wendy~

2nd, 

I want to say thank you to my mom

 for buying a brand new computer for me

Surprise actually....

Cause my dad say want to buy for me at first

but, he just say till don't no when only buy~

I keep look up on this camera though

Samsung St550. 12.2 megapixel

or

Samsung St600. 14 megapixel

But just think....

And Lastly.

I want to say, Happy Birthday to.....

Wardy Yap.

Happy Birthday Wardy,

thanks for your advice last time.

Thank you for being a friend to me

 =)

Wish your dreams will come true.

And Happy Birthday to my new lappy.

L645. 

15 September 2010~

Welcome to my life

❤ In Love With You ❤ Dday

Just a gentle whisper told me that you're gone
Leaving only memories, where did we go wrong
I couldn't find the words then, so let me say them now
I'm still in love with you

Tell me that you love me, tell me that you care
Tell me that you need me and I'll be there
I'll be there waiting

I will always love you, I will always stay true
There's no one who loves you like I do,
come to me nowI will never leave you, I will stay here with you
Through the good and bad I will stand true
I'm in love with you
Now we here together, yesterday has passed
Life is just beginning close to you and I
And I promise to you I will always be there
I'll give my all to you

Living a life without you is more than I can bear
Hold me close forever, I'll be there
I'll be there for you

I will always love you, I will always stay true
There's no one who loves you like I do,
this I promise

I will never leave you, I will stay here with you
Through the good and bad I will stand true,
hold me closer

Our love is forever, holding us together
Nothing in this world can stop us now
Love has found, love has found the way

❤ DDay❤

Tonight I going to set things right~
Hope it turn out right
I waited for so long,
now my heart wants answers
Hope I won't be play out


God, I'm counting on you


Panda Babe (JianLin)
QV (Jie)
Chery


Thanks for support me


Hope the best for the best
I want to say it


I LOVE YOU, LUCAS
HOPE WE CAN GET PASS THROUGH DDAY~❤

♥ September Temper

"How's the view? Nice? Does it look peaceful?

without stress, sadness or worries?"

I keep looking at the sky,

and then all the memories of us

keep replay in my mine...

Maybe,

if I wouldn't been so foolish in the pass

we might not be in the situation like this

I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

_______________________________________

3rd of September

Decided to celebrate dad's birthday early

He's actual birthday is 4th September,

but dad had to work in PWTC travel fair

So celebrate early.

I brought him this

 

Buy a wireless bluetooth headset for Dad

cause when he drives

someone call him

he don't use hand-free or speaker to talk

he just answer normally

worst thing is he can talk for so long 

till can't even drive properly

keep give people hon

= =

Beh Tahan him 

Since he birthday coming 

 I decide to buy the bluetooth for him lo

He say the normal headphone wire too long

so mafan and blar blar blar

Everything also want easy & shortcuts

zzzzzz (Old parents) = =

Now got wireless bluetooth 

so daddy you better use it EVERYDAY

Or else my effort and my money all wasted

My bro very pro

he didn't buy anything present

BUT

He belanja all of us eat dinner and watch movie

So pro. Anyway he is loaded 

Don't care money de xD

Watch this

Avatar in 3D

We thought dad will complain 

cause he's not in to english movies 

or those comedy adventure movie

But surprise that he like it

3 hours Movie. Not Bad & glad :)

4th of September

Yesterday,

Dad's working,

so me, my bro and mom stay at home lo

Plus I having MC, whole body also can't move

Sleep whole day...(pig)

9:30++pm

Dad working halfway then come fetch us eat things 

Want go out some more = =

my whole body tired and aching

Especially my legs.= =

I tell my mom I want stay at home

But mom say today is Dad's actual birthday

go eat supper with him.

"Yesterday not celebrate ady meh? Aiyo = =

 second round ke?"

Not just that,

is raining outside.

ok lo. Suffer a bit

 OF ALL PLACES

Go to KK business park and eat?

I hate there

some more the person I hate work there

Why I want face the person 

who like insult people de leh?

You guys know what my dad say?

"Aiyo, come here good mar, got fresh breeze, 

then you can find your friend chit-chat. Plus here got curry fish to eat

your favorite mar"zzz

 I like eat fish,

 doesn't mean I like go there eat!!!!

and second she's not my friend....

don't deserve to be

Then another surprise my bro tell me

"Jie, Daddy buy us tickets to watch movie in the cinema

11:55pm start" 

One expression in my head

   

Luckily find QV jie sms

or else I will boom myself

 11:47++pm

Go GTS Cinema in Wangsa Walk

watch Expendables

I give the ticket,

you know what the ticket fellow ask me

"Miss, what's your age? this movie is not suitable for under 18"

That time I almost want to scold that man

cause I already angry some more try to test me

Lucky my dad told him off

"She's 18teen." 

The movie is ok.

Nice to watch 2AM only back home

Tired. =(

♥ Chase my happiness

Being Emo for so long

feels kind of left out

Don't feel like doing things

feel like my world is empty

Yesterday,

my friend Wendy send me a cheer up sms 

she said:

"Don't be sad during the night, we'll always be by your side,

supporting you, 

Be happy and smile always"

She gives me the confidence 

and a dear friend to me

Life is about taking the risk of chances,

you might not know what you get before you try to do so.

My dad told me this over and over.

I have been waiting for happiness to come to me.

It looks like is my turn to chase happiness itself.

I want to do something crazy for a moment.

Try new things, change myself a bit...

Even thought is far but I'm not giving up

without a fight.

I might face consequences that will happened 

to me somehow or another.

But I don't really care anymore,

I want to do something wild for a change

I decided to chase him,

I will carry all the love and support my friends 

and family gave me.

I want to prove to myself,

and my friends that I will not give up that easily.

Without the answers, 

I will never give up.

To my dear friends,

I hope you still support me,

share your confidence, love and hope to me

It would be nice to receive your comments and message.

I need you guys

=) 

___________________________________________

Lastly，

Happy Birthday to Danson 唐禹哲

Does anyone notice that Danson 

is slightly similar look like

my Bii? LOLs 

Anyway,

Hope God will be there for me

God Bless Everyone

                                                       

                                                                                              -Love,

                                                                                                Emiko

♥ I miss you

I don't what else to think

just think of you

I miss you so much

Do you know?

I don't care what people said

or

Think about you

Even though you're not perfect

I still accept the way you are

I can't let go of  you

I don't no why...

I just want to let you know

You're everything to me

-Emiko♥

      

♥ Hope I get well soon

After that day of misery

I really cried a lot and make myself exhausted.

When to class.

My friends keep asking me

"Emiko, what's wrong with you? Your eyes are red and bengkak"

"Are you ok? I see like you going to pengsan"

"What happened? Something bothering you?"

I keep holding my tears to fall..

But I fail. I just keep crying and crying.

And my friends do their best to clam me with hugs and advice

and I end up cried to I fall asleep for nearly 5 hours

><

I really tired...

till I feel like the world is like the end

Sometimes when I walk also need my friend accompany me

Cause I fell down the stairs without seeing.

Can't even feel the pain...

My friends wouldn't even let me walk home

They insisted to drive me home instate

But I didn't wanna to go home

So I stay with Christin's house

And Christin called my mom to not worry

because we have to discuss our projects 

so need to stay with her for a few days

What a great lie..= =

But I feel guilty about it

I didn't went to class for 3 days

Have a headache and felt dizzy

Thanks Christin, Michelle and Wendy 

for taking care of me. Especially Christin

Sorry give you problems during the night 

when I had bad dreams and scream in tears 

But I can't tell you guys my problems

cause if I tell I would cry...

I don't want you guys to worry

And you guys will complain and say the things I don't want to hear

So best to keep in silents.

And I wanna thank JianLin for chating with me

during the night it self.

"Thanks Babee Panda~"

And QV jie.

thanks for the worries, I will tell you about it

whenever I can. I just need time to absorb and heal myself

Hope jie won't mind =)  

That's all I share for today

Peace through out the day***

♥ WHY????

Why...

Why you have to tell me this?

Why you check the information that I don't want to hear

Why?

Why you telling me this?

Why you check his where abouts

WHY!!!!!!!!!

Why you being so kepo?

Why!!!!

Why you being so busybody?

did I call you to do this?

DID I ask you to?

I didn't even want this

Why you making things so complicated?

Why my tears keep falling?

WHY????

Why my heart hurts?

Why am I being so naive?

I really thought if I just believe 

everything will turn out ok...

I really thought if I just control myself

everything will go smoothly

I really thought if I don't bother him

he won't not hate me

I really thought I can break my friends judgement that they said before

BUT. It's me the one being the stupid girl

WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE?

WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME?

WHY?

WHY?

WHY?

I feel like dying...

without him is like without air to breathe

I feel so insecure

I don't no what I will do

I afraid I might hurt myself and didn't know what I was doing

Can I run away from here?

Can I leave this place?

Can I disappear?

I don't no how I can handle this situation

Maybe I need to just shut myself again

In the dark alone. 

As I said before

My problems I bear it myself

It's my decision

对不起，是我一厢情愿

我对不起你，也对不起自己

我就是单纯，懦弱

早上你说的话

真的让你说中了 

恭喜你。

Emiko在你心中，到此为此

♥ Thinking too much

x

Just because of one sentence 

came right through your mouth

You make me feel like a useless person

a person who is not needed

a person who can't count on

Why are you making me feel bad about myself?

Why?

Have I suffer enough?

I already have patient with you

I already try to be clam 

BUT I can't do it anymore

I just can't stand it any longer

I didn't ate anything this morning...

learn to fast like the Muslims I think?

don't even have the appetite to eat 

Keep thinking here and there

I done so much things

try to help my friends from sadness with advices

But why I can't help myself?

Why unhappy things happened to me?

What I do to deserve this?

Have I done wrong?

Have I've been selfish?

I keep on trying to forget the things you said to me this morning

It seems that it's harder than I thought it would be

I'm hurt.

I don't no what to do...

I want to bet a chance

A chance that would lead me to an answer..

Can I get my answer if I ask?

Will you answer?

It's really important to me.

❤ Love in Disguise

21st August 2010

Went to Wangsa Walk

with Edward and my bro

woke up late...>m<

11 sumthing only wake up

cause last night sleep around 2am

Suppose to eat branch together

but Edward suddenly invite his friends

without telling us..

My bro and I were quite piss off

3:30pm

My bro having music lesson with Godmom

so left me alone 

I decided to watch movie while waiting for their lesson to end

I watch this

"Love in Disguise"

So romantic and funny

LeeHom sings one of his songs

I feel the love feeling around me

even though I watch alone.

He's music really heals me

Makes me feel that I'm not alone

I feel very touch when I watch this.

You guys should watch. It's worth it. :)

This is the song

“你不知道的事”

6:30pm

My bro class ended.

Then went back home 

suddenly I had a headache

feel cold all of a sudden

Keep using my blanket to keep me warm

maybe I been in the cinema room for too long 

freezing. Lolz

After that msn with JianLin

cause having stress need someone to talk

she also having a hard time with her bf 

She makes me worried

I hope she's fine. 

Cause she slept late last night

"Babe please don't make yourself unhappy 

don't cry

You make me worried about you last night

Please get some rest if you're tired. ok?

❤Today❤

Went market with Dad around 10:30++am

he wanted to buy breakfast and ABC's soup ingredients

So I followed keep Dad company

I don't why, finish buying things in market

suddenly I felt dizzy then my eyes became blur

blackout.>.<

Feel like want to faint

so I squat down and relax awhile

Dad is worried about me

Sorry Daddy...I give you trouble

Then I quickly went and sit in dad's car

Got no strength and my head is spining

While dad is drove me home

I was close my eyes and rest awhile

Luckily reach home

I feel better. 

  

I don't matter what you say 

you have no right to talk about my Bii

You know nothing about him

so Shut your F***King mouth

all else I going to slap you right on the face.